Our Shadow Self & Dark Night of the Soul
Please note that my book, Divine Embrace, explains in detail Kundalini, Ascension and how you can work through your symptoms and more!
Complete obliteration of my ego has not been met yet. It is debated whether even in enlightenment that the ego should be “obliterated” at all but rather mastered as a tool to utilize when necessary. So through tremendous effort of conscious awareness I work through the process. The ego still exists and I, like many of us, am dissipating its negative effects in a balanced way that works for me. I come in and out of the ego. Some days I feel like I’ve gotten to a place where I am free and in bliss. Then, very subtle-like, the ego has crept back in. Sometimes it’s an event that tugs me back into my head and ego. Other times it’s those nasty little mind thoughts. But a conscious effort to become more aware of this is called for. Reminders from friends, emails, spiritual books and articles as well as meditation, yoga and presence remind me to pull myself out of the ego mindset. Who am I? And who is ego? We may need our ego for discernment and interaction in this world but we can tame the beast and only call on it when it is necessary. At least that’s what I’m trying to figure out. 🙂
We have an ego or “Shadow” Self that projects in our outward reality. We have to realize that the ego causes a separation from Source, the Divine. All thoughts of “I” are separation. The more we ascend the less separation there is. We realize we are *all* One in the same. We *are* Source. We *are* the Divine. We must realize that our outward reality IS our inward reality. We reflect out to the world and it reflects back to us what we are feeling from within. So what you are experiencing is a part of who you are and what you are projecting; the experiences from your thoughts, your emotions and yes, even your unconscious. We attract this all to us, because it IS us. Knowing this assists us in more easily becoming conscious of everything around us and most importantly what’s within us. We are then more easily able to transmute the “I” or ego self and integrate with the Divine (that, by the way, we already are and always have been even if we weren’t conscious of it).
The ego is (usually) the negative, victim, poor me, the think it’s better than, conceited, high and mighty and fearful self that always causes feelings of separation. In the ego we feel fear. Fear does service a purpose but is many times taken too far with the ego. Remember ‘Fear’ stands for “False Evidence Appearing Real”. Even the ego shows itself when being seemingly boastful by putting yourself on a pedestal above another. We are all equals so know this is ego. Also, the ego takes projections and beliefs that have been placed upon you in this life and from other lives and embeds them within your consciousness as core beliefs.
However, you do not have to listen to what your parents and others said as “truth” anymore. Only listen to your heart as truth. The ego has its place when it is there to protect us from harm. And the mind has its place when needing to process certain functions and assists greatly with analytical meditation. Outside of this the ego uses fear to keep itself alive. The ego means well, but it has gone a bit too far. Through our ascension process we are integrating and transmuting our ego selves and fully encompassing our higher selves more each day. Yay! Eckhart Tolle talks about the ego as a false sense of self. This can also be called our “Shadow” self. In order for the ego to stay alive it, also, relies on the projections of faults on others that are unconscious to you.
The more consciously aware we become of the ego and the process the less momentum and power it has over us. And the more it disintegrates before our very eyes. In contrast, the unconscious process keeps the ego alive, through an unconscious focus of energy. What we resist persists.
The Shadow self seems to come up more readily around people who are more awake and who also have an intention of serving others by healing and assisting in growth. So we may see something triggered in another that we might not expect from them (that may normally be hidden away from the world and even themselves) because their shadow self has been brought to the surface for cleansing. As we become more awake and psychically aware of others deep hidden issues don’t be surprised to find more secrets popping up. It is par for the course. As we awaken we can more easily feel another’s deepest issues. They may be triggered and brought to the surface.
It is not up to us to do the healing for them. And remember to always check in with Self to be sure that none of this is also a mirror for you to work through as well. Most importantly, see others in their highest divine light and by the power of the law of attraction it will come out. We have that power within us. It is law. So we can bring out the best in people simply by seeing it.
But it is prudent to also allow the shadow or dark side to exist in order to process it and integrate it into your being. In this reality light and dark come together. As we ascend the light and dark are all light aka love. We are learning through opposites here and as a part of our progression we will integrate the dark into light in a smooth natural evolution. Always remember that we are all working on ego issues and are merely human and working through this process we call ascension to obtain more of our truest selves. Over our lifetime we will work through and transmute our shadow selves to divine light.
Life is never usually as bad as we think in our brains. It’s our mind thoughts that are creating our inner hell most of the time and we can remove them and replace them with peace and happy thoughts if we just try. At first it may be a challenge. But then it true does get easier.
In order for the negative ego perceptions (that manifest in our outer reality and experiences) to continue it must remain unconscious. If you make it conscious you’ll see it’s a projection, and it no longer holds power. It no longer seems real. It becomes the illusion that it is. The sense of separation from All That Is, is immediately broken. Awesome. As we become aware of the ego moments, we are shining the light on the shadow or darkness. As we do this, it dissolves. We transform more and more. Keep it up!
So, for example, instead of judging the person in front of us for the clothes they are wearing or their size, height or color, first stop the mind thoughts. Shine the light and ask yourself what exactly were you thinking just then. Our thoughts are faster than we even think sometimes. Then ask why you were judging that person so harshly. Don’t let the ego put you up on a pedestal “above” that person. That is only illusion. Then change your perception. See if you can see the good in that person, place or thing. Shine your light within it and you give it the excuse to shine outward to you as well. Shine your light on any person around you and you give them the excuse to shine their light to the world as well. They grow because you saw their true light within, the potential that’s always been there and waiting to emerge.
I am reminded again to not treat the ego as an enemy that must be removed. That is again a projection towards a perceived “separate” piece within us. Become friends with your ego. Integrate and transmute ALL (the light and the dark) into the One. Embrace your ego and Shadow Self. Bear witness and watch the light and the dark within you. Light and darkness are one and the same. In Vedic tradition there are ancient scriptures that tell us even looking into darkness can be a path to enlightenment. Embrace both the light of day and the dark of night within you. The witness is neutral. No judgment. Both sides are perfect. Allow the Shadow to liquefy as you ascend and move forth into a higher connection to the Divine.
As a part of Ascension and Kundalini awakenings there seems to be a theme through the awakened community of having a “Dark Night of the Soul.” We are not limited to one. We are also not limited to the fierceness of the dark night. For some it may be only a few hours of anguish, depression, crying, anger, frustration, hopelessness, etc. For others it could be an entire night, a few nights, weeks and, for some, years off and on. It seems to have its peaks and valleys. It’s there, then gone. We’ve worked through part of it, only for it to come back again and again. We will go through as much as we can take in one sitting and then it will contract until you can finally transmute the learning’s aka “shadow” side of yourself into pure light. This speaks to the expansion and contraction of the Universe I mentioned earlier.
It can be an awful feeling during this time and it might feel never-ending, but it will pass and you will emerge on the other side of it re-energized and re-connected a new level.
It seems that in our lowest of lows we usually turn to God/Divine or rather that deep stillness within ourselves where an awakening emerges. It is when we get to that low point where we come to the choice to leave this world or stick it out that it seems something profound occurs. This is especially true in many stories I have heard, such as Eckhart Tolle’s personal account in his book The Power of Now.
As we ascend and our ego’s start to die, more of the ego is in our face. We are facing our mirror and needing to release. For many it feels best to get through the dark night by observing it in the witness state and allowing the emotions to roll through you. Resisting will only cause more persistence of this dark night to last longer and harder. As we surrender more to it, we allow the Divine to do its work through us and a smooth transition is our gift. We may feel the need to dance, talk with a friend, be alone, cry, practice yoga, etc. Whatever it is that helps you through this is perfectly divine. You are NOT alone.
Like I said, this is a repeating process of light and dark, love and fear, birthing and dying and rebirthing again. It is an ongoing process that seems to bring about awareness of evolution as our constant. Change being our constant and learning to simply enjoy each moment no matter where you are. We will notice that eventually it smoothes out. There comes a balance and we are more increased in vibration and peace. Bliss, peaks, valleys, death, birth and love becomes the “norm” for a while.
Negativity and anger cause more suffering. So it is prudent to work through them as they surface so you can be in a higher vibration more often, thus feeling more positive and free. Becoming transparent is a great practice for allowing good or bad experiences to flow their way to us, being the witness while it lives and processes inside of us and allowing it to leave, therefore leaving us fully transmuted into anew. We are simply the witness never needing to fester with something. Emotions and shadow circumstances do not need to be a push or pull; only simply allowing. Resistance is futile. (My love of the old TV series “Star Trek: The Next Generation” coming out in me. :)) And so surrender to it. Allow it to be there. If we repress our emotions, fighting with them or ignoring them, will only cause them to build and compound themselves until they are so large we end up blowing up, not to mention manifesting in the body as illness or dis-ease. It is not healthy for us spiritually, physically, emotionally or mentally to repress issues and emotions. So HONOR your emotions. Honor your true divine self. Honor the release time it takes for this process to unfold. The result is beautiful and transcendent!
As we become more aware of the fact that we are all One and we are love, our ego becomes more manageable and possibly dies. Ego is the illusion of separation. So there is Ego death. And as a side note, many will dream of death and dying in many ways while going through this process because we are dying while living in the physical body. Our ego is dying and we are reconnecting and remembering the Divine Light Beings we’ve always been.
For most of us it will be a slow balanced progression of realization. We will ascend more into our higher selves and go through mini-ego deaths. This could be traumatic at times or very subtle and the end result always beautiful. We all operate on filters. Some are blessed to not have too many filters at birth. For the majority of us we are not only born with unconscious filters from the cell memory of our past lives, but more are added as we grow up throughout our childhood. These filters are judgments and more ways to separate you from another, therefore more ways to drive you away from the Divine. More ego separation. These filters can be consciously lifted. Start to become aware of those little things in life, those judgments of others and realize this is a mirror of the you within; a mirror of something that you actually are or something that you judge. But do not judge the judgment. Just let it be there and even observe it neutrally or even with fascination and release it.
Be the witness. Things that make you go mmmm is enough. We are free!
Judge not a person or a situation or a challenge, unless you’d like to be judged the same. Contemplate as a neutral observer. Love all equally no matter where they are on their path. Have compassion for all. All is Divine. And all is in perfect Divine order. Let go of the ego.
It’s not good. It’s not bad. It just is. I say this time aged saying a lot. It is my mantra. No matter the good happenings or the bad, simply allow it to be. Don’t get the ego involved or you are entertaining the game of karma and you will be back in the yin and yang of receiving that back. Allow your true divine self to emerge naturally. Ridding yourself of attachments to things and outcomes; opening up to peace; surrendering to the natural rhythms of you.
Remember we *are* all love. At the core of our Soul is Love. Divine is Love and we are part of the Divine. We *are* the Divine. If you are having a trying experience (this one said that mean thing, this happened to you, this thing might happen, more worry, more anguish, more drama, more victim modes and fear) just ground yourself. Bring yourself back to center. (See grounding in Book One: How I Found My True Inner Peace.) Breathe. Remember all the love in the world. Remember the people that bring you love. Remember a baby, a family member, a loving moment with a stranger, nature, etc. Remember the vibrant Divine energy that surges within you. As you connect more with what truly *is*, you bring yourself to your true connection with the Divine. If you remember anything from this book, remember this: You Are Love. You Are the Divine. You Are Always Connected to All That Is. And nothing that you will go through will ever take that away.
Dark Night of the Soul image credit goes to: mykalaubry.com.