Ho’oponopono – Ancient Hawaiian Healing Method
A Shattered Marriage
I came across your website by “accident,” and felt it was meant to be. I have been practicing Ho’oponopono for the past several months, but still feel a stuckness. A year ago this summer, I learned that my husband and partner of 25 years is having an affair with a woman I believed to be my long-time close friend. He moved out of our home 8 months ago leaving me and our daughter as though we never mattered or existed. She left her husband and two children and my heart aches for them as well. I then discovered a few months ago that this is not the first infidelity in my marriage nor even the first with someone I believed to be my trusted friend.
I cannot put into words the shattering this has created for me and for our child and our lives, and others around us, in so many ways. I have done my best to stand with grace and dignity caring for our child and home alone. It is as if he has died, but without the same support of friends and extended family. I face an uncertain future in so many ways. This was a man I believed to be the last of the good guys. No indication of issues within our marriage nor hints of betrayal. Then the bomb drops… It has shaken me to the core.
I am asking for insights you may have on how I can magnify the cleaning process if possible to more quickly bring my daughter and myself through the pain, the financial hardship and instability, the fear, the grief. How can I best clean on my husband for his mental health and for him to honor his commitment to take care of us even if that does not include him being a part of our home and family any longer. How can I clean on the pain, jealousy, humiliation, anger, betrayal and desire for justice when it comes to my husband and the other women–my “friends.”
I do not want to be that person–bitter, alone, angry. I do not come off this way to others and most would say I am doing great, but I know how I feel inside in the wee hours of the morning when all feels lost and destroyed, unsure, unstable, lonely… I am cleaning and erasing, praying, meditating, seeing a counselor, continuing my life as best I can, and being the best person and mother that I can be, but the pain, fear and grief seem to have a life of their own sometimes . I welcome any insight and suggestions you may have and I thank you for taking the time.
Blessings and peace to you and yours,
Before I can even start typing my response a divine messages came for you from above to: Keep finding that silver lining and hold out for love. Love of self, love of your daughter and any other love that comes along the way. It’s a divine message that came the minute I started typing my response to you.
For those who are unfamiliar with Ho’oponopono, please click here for the full description. Simply put, it is a clearing and cleaning method that transmutes situations into a higher vibration.
Part of Ho’oponopono is that you are taking 100% full responsibility for ALL that has occurred or will occur in and around your life. Anything that is in your awareness and especially anything that is emotionally charging you. And so we clean. We heal. We grieve. We take a higher perspective than those of the unconscious world. We realize that even these painful experiences in our lives are OURS and we are NOT Victims. We CAN take charge and find that Warrior within us. It is no coincidence that my article this month is about JUST this Warrior within. Please do read when you can as well. 🙂
We can find that peaceful place inside of us even as we grieve, clean, heal and move forward with our lives. It’s always there even if we can’t feel it at time. Nothing can ever touch that part of ourselves. And nothing can ever touch that peaceful divine light that is in others, that is in your ex, that is in your daughter, that is in everyone. It’s always there no matter how clouded by their own ego and experiences. It’s our choice to find it, seek it out and be in that space during the good time and especially the challenging times.
You might not have seen the signs or maybe you weren’t meant to see the signs of a marriage about to end. It’s okay. It’s an experience that you will remember and take with you as a more evolved person; a more evolved soul. Because you have these tools, you can now better move through more challenging experiences when they come up. Had you not known about Ho’oponopono or other healing methods as well as the wisdom that comes from practicing them, your marriage ending could have been more detrimental to your mental state as well as even your physical health. But you have this knowledge and wisdom. You ARE making it. You ARE doing it. You are doing so amazing! A part of cleaning is to know when issues are really “yours” to “bear” and when you need to let things go. Yes, it is painful for others to experience such a challenge, but you do not have to beat yourself up about others pain as much as you are. It is helpful, I’m sure, for them to know you are going through this too, but know they are experiencing this and working through it. Maybe you can help or maybe you can clean a bit on it and then move on. Continue with YOUR healing for your experience.
You may clean on your ex. (Been there.) Clean on any situation that you have attracted to you regarding your ex. But then let it go. It’s then up to him to do or not do what he is going to do. And you may hope that he will step up and take care of his responsibilities. But if he does not, it’s not for you to hold out and hope and pray he does. If he doesn’t, there are things set in place for you to take action on and be sure you are safe and secure. You can take him to court if need be. You may or may not need a lawyer. Then when you get there, clean. Pray only for the highest and best, good outcome to come for all involved. See him and anyone he is with as white pure divine light, see the judge and divine light, any lawyers and divine light and most importantly yourself as the Divine light being you are! Surrender the outcome. Let it go. Then the most divine thing will occur for all involved. Whatever that is, it is okay. You ARE okay. You are ALWAY always always taken care of. Know this. Never go through life in fear. Always know you can flow with life happily and naturally.
Each of us experience this differently and we all hope for our suffering to end fast. Sometimes it does. And sometimes it doesn’t. Many times it is our MINDS that cause us the most suffering. Now, is a time for your to break out on your own. See this as a blessing that you do not have someone that is very lost right now dragging you down. They left and are hopefully going to find their way on their own. You are now able to FLY high and do so much that probably having had this partner in your life, you may not have done. Everything is Divine. Everything! From the toast you ate today to the ending of a relationship. We can’t always know the exact reasons but at its highest level it is so divine and your Soul is shining so brightly from this evolving experience!
Do your best to get out of your mind. Say the phrases knowing that there is always hope and faith. Trust there is more for you to experience and most of it is sooo good and uplifting! In our peaceful state we can meet challenges faster and process them with more ease. So breathe. See if you can meditate once a day just seeing the Divine Light being your are. Ask your Angels for their assistance and help to bring more peace of mind, body and soul your way. See the signs of what they bring to you to assist you in doing and being in this constant state. They may ask you to meditate, to practice yoga, go for a walk or even go out dancing. Whatever it is, just be with it and no you are always taken care of. I’m sorry, Please Forgive me, I Love You, Thank you.