Jealousy & the Ego
Jealousy is a green bug that needs to be squashed. This is an ego emotion (one of many) that is based out of fear. Jealousy comes in many forms. Whether it be you are jealous of your partner talking to a person of the opposite sex1 or the jealousy you feel for your sibling who has the most perfect job, partner, etc, it could also be that your jealous of your other half visiting porn websites as they just can help it when they see a link like Click on Tubev Sex link to find more about popular content they have to click it and end up watching video after video of sexy women. Jealousy tends to stem from your own lack, desire of something and fear that you will never receive this.
Whether it is that perfect job that someone else has or that perfectly thin body, car, material possession(s), spirituality, peace and harmony that another seems to have and you want it. These are all things you can have if you desire and faithfully know deep down you deserve. However, till you realize that, this feeling of jealousy, inadequacy and/or lack is something of a challenge to conquer. In either case, whether you receive that faith or not, jealousy is yet another useless emotion when taken to the extreme and not turned around for the better.
Jealousy with your partner
This one is a biggy and that is the only reason I am focusing more greatly on this particular type of jealousy issue. I had a discussion someone I was seeing a while back and we talked about how we are two “cool” people who don’t need to feel jealousy over friendships of the opposite1 sex. If he ends up reading this article, feel flattered! 🙂 I feel there is a male & female dynamic in friendships that is crucial to evolving. Yes, you gain a great many benefits from the relationship you are in, but there is something else you gain from having friendships of the opposite sex (as well as same sex friends too!). Being jealous of such friendships only shows how untrustworthy you are feeling of the relationship you are in, how insecure you feel about yourself and/or your relationship or your fear of being abandoned.
There are many reasons for feeling jealous of the opposite1 sex, but it is not necessary. This, of course, discounts the fact of when your partner actually tries to make you feel jealousy by blatantly flirting with others. Then there is a deeper issue at hand. Know this: If your partner has a wandering eye, then respect yourself enough to move on. More importantly, if your partner is wanting to go elsewhere, LET THEM. They are not meant to be with you if they are searching elsewhere. And you are not meant to be with them. There IS someone else who is your match. Basically, being jealous of your partners interactions with others is futile, since they will (hopefully) move on if they feel they should and that is okay. You will move on as well and find someone that truly IS your match and not someone who is only “close” to it. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want someone who’s only close to my match. I prefer having my true match. Make sense?
Throughout your life and spiritual evolvement you try as hard as you can to follow your heart, your bliss and likewise you would hope that your partner wants the same for you. So in that same respect, do you not want the same happiness and bliss for your partner. Letting them follow their heart, wherever it may lead is crucial to their existence and growth, as well as your own. You two can grow together as you follow your truest life’s path. 🙂
I remember in the past, I had relationships where the man was jealous of any minor chat, conversation or mention of the opposite sex I may have had. They were also usually only placing this “rule” on me and not themselves, so this was a big double-standard that I never failed to point out to them. Somehow, this in combination with dating a variety of men out there that (let’s suffice it to say) had a disrespectful wandering eye, caused some insecurity and jealousy conditionings within myself, that I needed to UNcondition. I had lost my self-love and didn’t feel I deserved the best for myself. How dare they cause such fear in me. More to the point, how dare *I* let them.
Don’t appease others jealousy on you either. When you give in and let someone else stay in *their* jealousy and fall away from, an otherwise, normal routine of “being” and doing what you must, you give THEM your power. You fall away from living in your truest self. You start to lose otherwise healthy friendships, avoid being your true self and give your partner all your power. Please wake up and realize this is not healthy. You can get your power back with or without your jealous partner. You must follow your heart, your bliss for your own spirits highest and best, good.
Since those past relationships I *have* taken my power back. I am secure within myself again and continue to learn and grow from these experiences. So I can only thank these past relationships for that. It came down to respect for myself and the person I was with. If I was jealous of them doing something, I didn’t respect or trust them enough to stay true to us and our relationship. If they *did* have a wandering eye and even had (admittedly or not) cheated on me then the respect that I needed was for myself! I needed to realize that I apparently had low self-esteem, didn’t feel deserving and would allow someone to treat me badly by not at least acknowledging my existence while I was with them and respect me enough to not goggle at every person of the opposite sex that walked by. I needed to acknowledge MYSELF enough to know that if someone is cheating or disrespecting me in that fashion, that they were not at the level I needed them to be at in our relationship. I, too, needed to know I deserved the best for me. They, obviously, were not my match in every fashion. Their beliefs did not match my own in this particular pattern. Also, letting go of jealousy issues regarding your partner and their wandering eye, is very freeing. Knowing that you will either let them go, change the situation with that person or leave immediately for your own self-esteem and self-love is liberating.
If you are seeing someone and the commitment hasn’t been spoken, then that is a separate issue altogether. If there is no commitment or to even take it further, an admittance of not wanting a commitment, then there is no right (per say) to feel such jealousy to begin with. Or rather, you have agreed that jealousy can’t be an issue. There is justification and a reason for everything. Jealousy does have it’s plusses and positive things that come from it! Take this particular example and realize if you aren’t committed and you are feeling these ego issues, then you may realize you do want a commitment and need to leave the relationship or redefine it with the other person through communication. As for me, whether there has been communication about a commitment or not, I just can’t see more than one person at a time and choose not to. It’s respect for the person I am with and, very importantly, for myself. I know what I want and it’s not to be in numerous unhealthy relationships. It’s to be in one healthy thriving long-lasting relationship.
I must add quickly here that there are times when what feels like jealousy is actually your intuition letting you know of an icky situation that is going on with either your partner or wherever this emotion is aimed at. Your intuition will tell you when you are being lied to or when something deceitful is going on. You will know it with every core of your being. These particular situations may not be frequent, but they do happen, so it’s imperative that you are analyzing and releasing these negative emotions, as well as developing and listening to your intuition…your inner knowing.
All other Jealous feelings
Jealousy of another’s good fortune, whether it be money, physically thin, emotionally stable, spiritually happy, in a wonderful relationship, great job, etc., etc., is sometimes a motivator to make a better life for yourself. If this is the case, you were able to transmute that jealousy into something positive for your own well-being and rid yourself of that jealousy. But whether or not you receive that object of jealousy, it’s the jealousy itself that needs examining if it goes too far and is not released immediately. For many the jealousy seems to take on a life of it’s own in many folks (a green jealousy monster!) and can end up in a pitfall of negativity that is hard to get out of.
Let’s take for example, you have a good friend who happens to have the most perfect job for them and is completely content and making great money to boot. An immediately reaction could be a pang of jealousy if you are not where you desire to be in your career. If you can’t immediately transmute that jealousy into loving happiness for your good friend and their good fortune, knowing they deserve their happiness (as you do), then therein lies the challenge.
Jealousy in Energy Transference
There are jealousy’s that happen on many levels. I remember meeting someone once that immediately caused some jealousy issues in me. I thought I had licked that monster in the bud, but apparently there was something to be released still. I started to look under the surface in order to see her for the person she really is first. I saw such potential and her heart reaching out for love (but not knowing the proper way to go about that, which is starting with self-love). There were obvious self-esteem issues going on here. In delving deeper I realized the jealousy was *not* my own. I realized that *she* wanted me to feel jealous of her. I looked further. I needed to understand why, in order to finally release this issue. I recognized that she needed the attention of every male she came in contact with. It didn’t matter who, as long as she received the attention she craved. She may have (subconsciously) thought I was someone who could take away some of that attention and seemed to emit that vibe that said she wanted me to put my attention and envy on her. She wanted me to feel jealous of her and *that* would make her feel better about herself!?
We feel what others feel because we are all connected. Even if you are not consciously attempting to open up psychically to feel another’s emotions, the energy transference still occurs and on some level (depending on how strong you are) you feel others emotions/thoughts/energies. You still have a “knowing” and they still put their emotions/thoughts/energies on you (and vice versa). Don’t let outside appearances or surface energy issues blind you to the love and connection we have with everyone. In my example, I felt something she badly wanted me to feel and was able to become aware of it and squash that foreign feeling from my being. I also sent her some white light and pink (which represents unconditional love). Her higher self will decide if and when she can receive this positive energy.
I had a friend once who has naturally fallen off of my radar. As we progress those of lower level energies/vibrations will naturally fall away either subtly or with a big bang. We must accept this change as a part of our evolvement, even if it’s hard. Change, especially losing someone as a friend is a death in and of itself. But it’s also a rebirth of something new. This opens you up to so much more.
This particular friend and I had something in common. We were both overweight at the time. However, she was usually much thinner than I was and was sure to make me aware of it at times. For the most part it was a subtle energy transference I picked up on that she was glad I was heavier than her…that I “looked worse” than she did. This was very subtle, so I ignored it since I was glad for the friendship. However, this turned out not to be such a healthy friendship, as you can guess.
She ended up falling off the face of the earth for four month, only to call me during my birthday week and try to rekindle a friendship she had let fall away. I am not up for being treated like dirt by my enemies, let alone someone who’s supposed to be my friend in good times and bad. I was willing to try to forgive during this phone call, but she continued to stay in her “victim” mode to make me appease her. This seemed so wrong to me. And still I ignored this. Towards the end of the call my friend (knowing I had been passionately shedding the pounds from my body) asked me what pants size I was now. When I told her I was actually two sizes smaller than she had expected there was a pause on the phone, followed with the fake “wow’s” and congratulations. She then ended the call telling me she was going to call so we could catch up sometime soon. I never heard from her again. I know that the main reason for her ego feelings is her low self-esteem and the fact that she couldn’t be around someone who “looked better” or thinner than her because of that. She couldn’t be happy for me in her truest self. I don’t deserve a friend like that and I’m glad she hasn’t called back. I have let go of that friendship.
Have you ever envied someone so much, that you wanted to be like that person to the point that everyone envied *you* in the same way? Have you ever wished that someone you were jealous of was jealous of you (instead)? SURE! We’re all human. We may have felt those ego emotions at one point in our life, and as we evolve we release those issues and realize that we don’t need someone else to feel horribly within themselves in order for US to feel better!? Most importantly, the energy transference of jealousy is a negative one. You don’t want someone to envy YOU or be jealous of you. Don’t put that on yourself or anyone else. You are putting a lot of requests out to the Universe for this negative emotion to be aimed at you! That’s a lot of negative attachments you don’t need, nor want. Not to mention that these powerful negative emotion can turn into obsession and lead to many unwanted things if progressed. Getting rid of these negative attachments will take work for sure!
Ever talk to someone about your feelings of jealousy only for them to point out something negative in the other person to make you feel better about *your* jealousy. Or even more subtle, your friend says something like “…Well, they may be rich, but they have their problems. We all do…” This comment is so faint and done only in the most positive of light by your friend to say this in order to help you.
However, I have realized something. How is seeing something negative in someone else to rid yourself of the jealousy you have for that someone a solution!? Yes, the statement may be 100% true of other issues in that person, however, we are striving to release negativity from ourselves AND others. We do not want to PUT it on anyone else, even if it’s very subtle. This is a form of subtle energy transference onto the object of jealousy. We need to see it in a new light. Realize the jealousy and release it, but not by bringing more negativity into the picture. This negativity is aimed at that other person and they will receive this subtle transference, since all thoughts are things and all energy goes out there for manifesting.
Be Aware – Be in the Now
First, you must realize the jealousy. You must see it and acknowledge it. You must own it. Take it as your own in order to release it. If you deny that you are feeling this emotion, then it takes that much longer for you to release it and this situation will keep showing its ugly head until you pay attention to it and release it once and for all. Second, see where it’s coming from. Once you are aware of this jealousy, ask yourself why you are jealous. Don’t discount any thoughts that come to mind, but keep probing. Dig deeper. Is it insecurity, wanting something for yourself, fear, etc. Is this emotion truly all coming from you or a deeper intuition about the current situation… Last but not least, release the jealousy in its entirety. Don’t let any past issues you’ve experienced in this negative emotion dictate what you believe and how you feel within now. No matter how you may have been “victimized” in the past in order for you to “justify” being jealous, it’s in the past. Nothing more. Don’t let your past rule your future and who you are today. Have faith that you are attracting wonderful positive situations and people. Release those negative emotions that don’t serve you anymore.
There are positive things that can come out of jealousy feelings. Like a new awareness. Surpassing this emotion is ground-breaking for many. Your new awareness could lead you on a new quest for striving to be better at releasing this emotion, or whatever it is you were jealous of. It can be positive, as long as you don’t let the jealousy spiral out of control. Recognize it for what it is and release it, taking only the positive things from it.
There are things that are blocked from you when you immerse yourself in a feeling such as jealousy. You deprive yourself of a loving relationship, of finding common interests in someone you may have otherwise been jealous of or even find help with a tough situation from someone that you may have initially judged and therefore found jealousy in. If you get passed it quickly, you can benefit from these loving relationships and interactions with a variety of countless people out there. We are all here to connect and help others as we evolve ourselves. There’s potential in these interactions that seem so fleeting. Take notice and be amazed at what love can pour out from something that, at first, seemed so negative.
See the good in someone. Especially those you have negative feelings over, in order to transmute those feelings into something wonderful. Start small. See one good thing about that person you were jealous of and see how the love enfolds. Feeling love and compassion leads to higher levels of understanding and is blissfully freeing from the judgmental habits of jealousy and other ego issues. Be happy for the person with the thin body, riches or great job. Know that in our connectedness they are happy and in being happy for them, you bring about your own happiness just by feeling that happiness. Energy transference brings back more energy to you.
Be true to you. We are all here to evolve into the wonderful connected beings we are. Since we are all connected, we evolve more quickly if we strive to help others as we help ourselves. See yourself in others and know that they are reacting on the vibrational level they are on right now at this very moment. It might not be where you are at, but that’s okay. See in them the trueness they are being to themselves and the Universe by not avoiding their truest selves. If you can offer them some assistance in growing within themselves, great! If not, that’s okay too. You move on. I try to help those I can, but know when I can only be there and not be the “teacher”. In every situation, whether you are teaching or not, there is always something to learn.
I choose not to let jealousy overtake my actions neither physically or energy-wise. I choose to be as aware as possible of my emotions and the energy I put out to the Universe and shine a truth spotlight on any lingering ego issues, while spread the love I feel for all throughout.
If that sounds cryptic: It comes down to this. I firmly believe that everything we put out there to the Universe comes back to us. I firmly believe that all of our thoughts, actions, emotions and energies go out to the Universe and come back to us in some way, shape or form. Our desires and what we truly feel we deserve always come back to us. So I now ask you, can you put out into the Universe what you truly would like to receive back? Or rather can you have the faith and trust that you truly deserve the highest and best, positive abundance of love and prosperity? Put out positive love, compassion, understanding and truth and see what comes back for you. 🙂
1. If you are in same sex relationships, just change the phrasing to be same sex. I use the words “opposite sex” for simplicity in article writing. I hope that you don’t take offense if you happen to be in a same sex relationship. 🙂 It’s all good!